Feminism with a lesbian slant our cookies are enabledTumblr (3.0; @toughxcookies)http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/<p>If you are a feminist and/or LGBTQ writer and would like to gain exposure on a lesbian feminist blog by submitting a guest article (either a fresh one, or one that you have lying around that could be cross-posted), <em>the time is now!</em></p> <p><strong>ToughxCookies</strong> is now accepting guest submissions for October and November.  <a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/p/guest-submissions.html">See here</a> for more information.</p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/32736664816http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/32736664816Tue, 02 Oct 2012 10:51:29 -0400writerswriterwritinglesbianlesbianslgbtlgbtqfeminismfeministfeminists<p>If you are a feminist and/or LGBTQ writer and would like to gain exposure on a lesbian feminist blog by submitting a guest article (either a fresh one, or one that you have lying around that could be cross-posted), <em>the time is now!</em></p> <p><strong>ToughxCookies</strong> is now accepting guest submissions for September and October.  <a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/p/guest-submissions.html">See here</a> for more information.</p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/30742977061http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/30742977061Sun, 02 Sep 2012 15:21:38 -0400feministfeminismlgbtlgbtqlesbianlesbianswriterwriting<p><strong>By Genine (<a href="http://ides-of-swing.tumblr.com/">blog</a>)</strong><br/><em>Guest Contributor</em><br/><br/>Yes, women like nice guys. Guys also like nice women. For argument’s sake, everyone likes people who are nice. Aye, but here within lays the rub: nobody likes someone who’s pretending to be nice or uses it as a manipulative device to get their things to go their way. What makes a person the latter “nice guy” and not a genuine nice guy?</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/how-nice-guy-finishes-last.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/30487829628http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/30487829628Wed, 29 Aug 2012 20:39:12 -0400feminismwomen's issuesrelationshipslovemen<p><strong>By Jenn Anderson</strong><br/><em>Staff Writer</em><br/><br/>She had been experiencing pain for a few days, but it wasn’t until the fourth day that it became unbearable. She arranged for a family member to watch the baby and went to the hospital. The nurses found her a bed and every once in a while checked back with her to gauge the level of pain she was experiencing. After three hours, one of the nurses offhandedly remarked, &#8220;If you were a guy, you’d already be in surgery.&#8221;  Apparently, it is common knowledge between the nurses that many men who come in with pain don’t do well with having to wait and endure before being treated. Instead, they are very vocal about being in pain, and insistent that they be treated right away.</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/health-care-doesnt-care-at-all.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/30322070728http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/30322070728Mon, 27 Aug 2012 12:46:00 -0400familylifewomen's issuesfeminismhealth<p><strong>By Emma Jenkinson</strong><br/><em>Staff Writer</em><br/><br/>I am desperately trying not to become a sniveling heap of&#8212;well&#8212;desperate, at the moment. In the space of a month, a majority of my life collapsed in on me: someone I love died, I didn’t pass my degree (and have to now retake several exams for it), I failed at getting a job, and on top of that, my relationship petered out into nothing. This left me bursting into tears for nothing at all (or nothing that the naked eye could see), withdrawn, and mostly pathetic. I found myself sitting in my bedroom, back jammed into a corner, staring at the door, and crying.</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/how-to-cure-broken-heart-or-at-least.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/30180336923http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/30180336923Sat, 25 Aug 2012 13:27:46 -0400ex-girlfriendsloverelationships<p><strong>By Melissa A. Fabello</strong><br/><em>Founder &amp; Editor</em><br/><br/>“Well, can I ask you something, then?” She said it in a hushed tone, her eyes squinted. She was leaning down on the table on her forearms, and when she looked up at me, she had to do so over the rims of her glasses.<br/><br/>“Sure,” I said, taking a sip of my iced tea. I hadn’t put enough sugar in it. <br/><br/>“How do you attract women, then?”</p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29872037609http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29872037609Mon, 20 Aug 2012 22:44:30 -0400homophobiadiscriminationlabels<p><strong>By Maddie McClouskey</strong><br/><em>Staff Writer</em><br/><br/>Dear Marcus from the A Train,<br/><br/>First off, I&#8217;d like to say that I have never written a letter like this. Also, I truly hope this doesn&#8217;t read like a Craigslist &#8220;Missed Connection.&#8221; Anyway, thank you for hitting on me the way that you did.</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/dear-marcus-from-a-train.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&amp;utm_medium=facebook">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29660148306http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29660148306Fri, 17 Aug 2012 21:43:11 -0400feminismwomen's issuesharassementmen<p><span class="Apple-style-span"><strong>By Samantha Wilson</strong><br/><em>Guest Contributor</em><em><br/></em><br/></span></p> <div class="MsoNormal"><strong>Reggie Rocket</strong></div> <div class="MsoNormal"></div> <div class="MsoNormal">All hail Nickelodeon’s resident riot grrl, Reggie Rocket. This violet-haired heroine of <em>Rocket Power </em>wasan extreme sports enthusiast held at the same high regard as her male friends. Whether skateboarding, snowboarding, surfing, or street luge, girlfriend did it all. She even started her own zine for other sporty girls. Rocket was fearless, competing against the boys in the most dangerous events, just for the fun of it.</div> <div class="MsoNormal"></div> <div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/guest-submission-littlest-feminists-how.html">Read more.</a></div>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29600455391http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29600455391Fri, 17 Aug 2012 00:02:53 -0400feminismwomen's issuesTVmovies<p><strong>By Emily Smith</strong><br/><em>Staff Writer</em><br/><br/>It’s safe to say that the mainstream media loves mannequins. Mannequins don’t have eyes, lips, or ears with which to function, or protest; rather, they are blank slates with the sole function of conveying an image. Women exhibit the image of a child-bearer, and virtually disappear from media and pop culture after their expiration dates – that is, menopause. Notably, only 26% of women on TV are over the age of forty.<br/><br/><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/when-women-expire.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29348811357http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29348811357Mon, 13 Aug 2012 14:25:45 -0400agefeminismwomen's issuesTVmovies<p><strong>By Alicia Dillon</strong><br/><em>Staff Writer</em><br/><br/>For three years, I performed in a burlesque group. It was the time of my freakin&#8217; life. I always bounced between insecurity and a desire to take the stage, and burlesque was the perfect avenue to use that desire and kick my insecurity right in the ass. You see, I was always chubby, and I never grew breasts. These two factors led me to believe my body was the opposite of sexy. I loved to watch burlesque; I was enamored with the extreme, retro, femme-y glamour, the vaudvillian performance aspects, and the bare ladyflesh that matched my preferences in a way mainstream media never would. I was thrilled when a burlesque troupe sprung up on campus. Granted, I was too terrified to audition, and I came in through the back door. I emceed my first show, proving to the troupe and myself that I could hack it onstage.<br/><br/></p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/more-than-tassels-and-titties-dreaming.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29126773495http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29126773495Fri, 10 Aug 2012 11:23:48 -0400artbeautyfeminismwomen's issues<p><strong>By Danielle S.</strong><br/><em>Guest Contributor</em><br/><br/>On the off-chance that you’ve been living under a rock with your fingers in your ears, you’ve undoubtedly heard about the debacle Chick-fil-A has created for itself. COO and President Dan Cathy announced his opinion that Chick-fil-A has &#8220;family&#8221; values and honors the &#8220;biblical&#8221; definition of marriage and all the executives are still married to their first wives – in essence, for people who think they’re anti-marriage equality – CFA is &#8220;guilty as charged.&#8221;</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/guest-submission-chick-fil-free-market_8.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29006893198http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/29006893198Wed, 08 Aug 2012 18:06:17 -0400activismhomophobiadiscrimination<p><strong>By Cherie</strong><br/><em>Staff Writer</em><br/><br/>I flipped the light switch, entered the bathroom, and took a look at myself in the mirror. My hair perfectly curled, my eyes painted with a pretty pink shadow, my lips slicked with a cupcake-flavored gloss. I turned around and twisted the handle to the shower, the hot water rushing out, as steam lifted and filled the cool evening air. The moment I stepped into the water, my curls disappeared without trace, and as I lifted my hands to wash my face, my makeup vanished as well. As I stepped out of the shower looking at myself in the steamy mirror, my face bare, my hair dripping and unfixed, I reran the words my friend had spoken to me earlier that day. &#8220;I’m just not pretty without makeup. I just&#8212;I need it,” she confessed. “You always wear makeup. I know you know what I mean.&#8221;</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/the-magic-of-make-up.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28863211237http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28863211237Mon, 06 Aug 2012 18:24:06 -0400beautyfeminismwomen's issues<div><strong>By Emma Jenkinson</strong></div> <div><em>Staff Writer</em></div> <div>So, this is a follow-up to my last article, about <em>why </em>I think cunnilingus has been so neglected.</div> <p>Let’s ignore society’s seeming obsession with the penis (though that does play quite a big part), and look at the myths surrounding the vulva and the <em>fear</em>, frankly, that has risen out of these myths. Women are told, as they grow, that their vulva has to look a certain way, has to react a certain way, and has to <em>exist</em> purely as a conduit to man&#8217;s pleasure. Let’s be honest here – reading the<a href="http://www.nerve.com/advice/ridiculous-tips/the-36-most-ridiculous-sex-tips-from-emmens-health-em-and-emmaxim-em"> 36 Worst Sex Tips for Men</a> and finding the word ‘barrel’ used in conjunction with the word ‘vagina’ wasn’t exactly heart-warming.  My vagina doesn’t have a ‘barrel,&#8217; cheers – it’s not a gun.</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/08/rise-of-cunnilingus-part-two.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28712673640http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28712673640Sat, 04 Aug 2012 15:15:25 -0400sexsexuality<p><strong>By Anonymous</strong><br/><em>Guest Contributor</em><br/><br/>Let me begin this post with the breaking news that I wanted to share with anyone who has a computer and the Internet: I have not had sex in four years.<br/><br/>With that out of the way, let&#8217;s talk about why.<br/><br/>So this one time, I became friends with a girl in college who wore a rainbow belt and cargo shorts. I had no idea that she was gay until she told me a few days after we had already decided to be friends forever. I was straight, she was my &#8220;GBF.&#8221; Close to ten year later, neither of those two statements are true anymore (long pause for nostalgic sigh).<br/><br/>These days, I am a gay woman living behind a loosely-veiled closet door.</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28490748807http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28490748807Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:50:00 -0400being outdouble standardshomophobiadiscriminationreligionsexsexuality<p><strong>By Melissa A. Fabello</strong><br/><em>Founder &amp; Editor</em><br/><br/>I remember it distinctly, the first time I recognized street harassment as a legitimate problem.  Having grown up in a not-so-great-but-not-that-bad neighborhood in my hometown of Boston, Massachusetts, my coming of age was riddled with leers and lewd comments from the men in my city.  But this experience had nothing to do with where I grew up.  Rather, it had everything to do with the body (and therefore, social status) into which I was born.  As a female, I was subject to this kind of aggression.  Hot, wet whispers in my ear, “Hey, sexy.”  Low whistles and comments in languages I couldn’t understand.  Stares.  Up-and-down inspections.  That one guy who even chased me out of the subway station just to let me know that I had a phenomenal ass.  It’s part of growing up female.</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/07/the-melissa-fabello-guide-to-hollering.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28343547928http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28343547928Mon, 30 Jul 2012 12:56:14 -0400activismfeminismwomen's issuesharassmentmen<p><strong>By Stephanie Ambroise</strong><br/><em>Staff Writer</em><br/><br/>I had been waiting for this weekend for a couple of semesters, and every other time the conference was scheduled, I was busy. But not this weekend. This weekend, I was free to cry my eyes out while hearing women speak about their abortions. This weekend, I could finally go to the CLPP (Civil Liberties and Public Policy) Abortion Speak Out. It was hosted at Hampshire College in Amherst, and I went with a couple of friends of mine. I was extremely excited, but I had no idea what I was in for. In my most somber dreams, I could have never guessed how moved I would be by the entire experience</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/07/trans-gender-roles.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28147985340http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28147985340Fri, 27 Jul 2012 16:58:17 -0400feminismwomen's issuesrantgendertransgender<p><span class="Apple-style-span"><strong>By Rosara Torrisi</strong><br/><em>Guest Contributor</em></span></p> <div></div> <div>When you have a baby, relationship satisfaction can drop, conflict and hostility rise, intimacy deteriorates, exhaustion sky rockets, and passion, sex and romance plummet. You may feel unappreciated, neglected, and lonely. There are likely to be differences in desire between men and women after pregnancy. </div> <div><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/07/guest-submission-eight-tips-for_25.html"><br/></a></div> <div><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/07/guest-submission-eight-tips-for_25.html">Read more.</a></div>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28070262297http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/28070262297Thu, 26 Jul 2012 15:21:34 -0400family lifefeminismwomen's issues<p><strong>By Cherie</strong></p> <p><em>Staff Writer</em></p> <p>We had embarked on a crusade essential to our survival.</p> <p>In other words, my best friend, her man friend, and I were headed to Target to buy some much needed caffeine. We were making our way through the store when I saw it: the new Maybelline cream blush in a gorgeous fuchsia pink with a soft sparkle base. I squealed in excitement, ambling over to the display. I was bent over, marveling over the makeup, when I heard a deep voice rise up behind me. I turned to see my best friend&#8217;s man friend standing much too close to me, an expression on his face that gave me reason to believe he&#8217;d been chugging sour milk all morning.</p> <p>&#8220;What kind of lesbian are you?&#8221; he demanded, his hand sweeping the air in front of me.</p> <div><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/07/what-kind-of-lesbian-are-you.html"><br/></a></div> <div><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/07/what-kind-of-lesbian-are-you.html">Read more.</a></div>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/27842902509http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/27842902509Mon, 23 Jul 2012 13:20:48 -0400rantstereotypes<p><strong>By Lindsey Cain</strong></p> <p><em>Staff Writer</em></p> <p>While the title of this piece poses a question, I will be coming down staunchly on one side of the argument. Recent events depicting women’s sexuality in media is making me sick. Lovers of the <em>50 Shades of Grey</em> and <em>Magic Mike</em> phenomena, hear me out. You can be fans all you like, but please by no means call these works of literature and cinema, respectively, good or well-done. And certainly strive for the utmost media literacy, and please realize what these things are doing for female kind: nothing. </p> <div><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/07/a-step-forward-or-numerous-steps-back.html">Read more.</a></div>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/27792138060http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/27792138060Sun, 22 Jul 2012 19:17:02 -0400booksfeminismwomen's issuesgendermenpop cultureTVmovies<p><strong>By Lauren</strong><br/><em>Guest Contributor <a href="http://www.pledgeyourovoice.com/">(blog)</a></em><br/><br/>When asking a group of children at the age of seven what they want to be when they grow up, thirty percent of both male and female claim they want to be President of the United States. Ask the same group of children again when they are fifteen, and there is a dramatic decline: only ten percent of the females claim they want to become President. In these eight short years, what causes change in the ambitions for females? What is it that brings a decline from wanting to be in charge to taking orders?</p> <p><a href="http://www.toughxcookies.com/2012/07/keep-it-real-unrealistic-expectations.html">Read more.</a></p>http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/27577224586http://toughxcookies.tumblr.com/post/27577224586Thu, 19 Jul 2012 16:59:59 -0400feminismwomen's issuesgendertvmovies